


wake up with amnesia

by charjace



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29733453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved onIt's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long
Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Kudos: 41





	wake up with amnesia

The crowds' cheers were music to his ears as he switched out his electric guitar for his acoustic – he gave the crowd a small smile as he walked back to his mic. Julie went to go sit behind the piano, and he could see her little nod and he can feel Alex and Bobby’s eyes on him. He took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out as he looked into the crowd that were at this little pub, “This is a new song,” Luke tells the crowd, “I heard a special friend was here tonight... and, well... I’ve been writing this for the past few years.  So. .. _ this is for you _ .”

He starts to play the chords on the guitar, taking in a deep breath before he opened his mouth to sing,

**_I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted_**   
**_I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted_**   
**_And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine_**

A light laugh spilled from his lips as he watched as Reggie tripped over his own feet just when Reggie was  _ so close _ to him. The other man practically falling into his arms as he did, and Luke couldn’t help but smile down at his friend. Luke holds Reggie up, his hands on either side of Reggie’s arms – and Reggie had a faint redness to his cheeks, a sign he’s had a few drinks and Luke knows he’s had some himself and that must be why he finds himself saying, “You look so cute.”

The way Reggie blushed deeper, made Luke’s heart flutter and he isn’t sure he can blame it on the alcohol he’s consumed. Not when he knows these thoughts come across his mind sober, and maybe that’s why he finds himself leaning in and smiling when he feels Reggie’s lips against his. He finds one of his hands moving to rest at the back of Reggie’s neck as Reggie kissed him back. Humming slightly in the back of his throat at the feeling of Reggie’s hand grabbing hold of his waist, pulling him in closer.

Pulling away, he looks into Reggie’s eyes and unable to stop himself, he surges forward again – letting the kiss get deeper. Forgetting about the rest of the party that was going on around them, because all that mattered to him was Reggie. Feeling Reggie under his fingertips, and the taste of Reggie that mixed with alcohol. He hadn’t known it at the time, but it was the start of something he would never want to forget – yet, at the same time, maybe he would.

**_Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?_**   
**_If what we had was real, how could you be fine?_**

Reggie jumped onto his back, and they both laughed as Luke stumbled a little at the sudden weight of his _ boyfriend _ on his back. Just thinking about it makes Luke feel all giddy and he knows there is a cheesy love song just  _ waiting _ to be written deep inside of him. There was a light press of lips to his cheek, and he knows his cheeks were going a shade of pink as he gripped the bassist’s thighs to help hold him up more safely. 

“You would  _ not _ believe what I got,” Reggie exclaims excitedly in his ear as Luke sets to walking again, heading towards the studio that  _ Sunset Curve _ was renting out. The studio belonged to a nice family on Bobby’s street. 

“You got us a gig?”  Luke muses, smiling to himself when Reggie rests his head against his arm, so it was now right by Lukes.

“Sadly,  _ no _ .  But, you know that book series I’ve been reading. I got the new book! It came out like, last month but I’ve been saving for it. I can’t wait to read it. I hope t...” Reggie rambles on about the book, and his hopes for his favourite characters. He could listen to Reggie talk about his favourite things for hours on end.

When they walked into the studio, no one else had arrived yet and Reggie climbed off of Luke’s back before rushing over to the acoustic guitar sitting in the corner. “I know you don’t like country, but... just, I like this song okay. Just... trust me.”

Luke nodded his head, going to take a seat on the couch as Reggie started to strum the guitar lightly and play a few chords before his voice started to come in. Luke honestly wasn’t a fan of country, but he could appreciate it, especially if it made Reggie this happy. When Reggie finished the song, he put the guitar to the side before taking the spot next to Luke.

Wanting to steal a kiss before Bobby or Alex came by, Luke does just that. Pressing his lips lightly against Reggie’s. “You make country sound good,” Luke comments, words ghosting across Reggie’s lips. Hearing Reggie’s laugh was another kind of music to his ears, and any time that Luke hears it, he takes it in and tries to lock away the sound forever in the back of his mind.

“You’re such a sap,” Reggie replies, lightly shoving at Luke’s shoulder playfully.

“But, I’m  _ your _ sap,” Luke retorts, leaning in to press yet another kiss to Reggie’s lips, but was stopped when he heard loud fake gagging noises.

Rolling his eyes, Luke turns to see Alex and Bobby in the doorway, with coffees in their hands which explains why they’re late. “You’re just jealous,” Reggie says, draping himself across Luke’s back and smiling up at their friends.

“If I’m ever like that, can you...”

“Got it. I kill you; you do the same to me, right?”

“Of course.”

Luke and Reggie laugh at their  friends' antics, before getting off the couch and grabbing their instruments to start  practicing .

**_I remember the day you told me you were leaving_**   
**_I remember the make-up running down your face_**

They had a big night, a gig that went well and an after party – it was great, but they were all tired by the time they decided to head home. Luke was laying on Reggie’s bed, they were facing each other with beaming smiles on their faces. If their next gig goes well, then Luke thinks that will send get them a record deal. Someone had promised to bring their friend to their next gig, someone who could sign them. 

“We’re  _ so close _ ,” Luke whispers into the dark room, fingers ghosting over Reggie’s jaw, “I’m happy you’re here with me.”

“What about Alex and Bobby?” Reggie muses, and he can hear the soft laugh at the back of his boyfriend’s tone.

“Of course, I’m happy we get to do it with them too,” Luke answers, and it’s true. He doesn’t think he’d make it here without his friends. “I’m just, really happy with us. We’re making our dreams come true, they’re just right there. One more step, and we’ve got it in our hands.”

Reggie moves himself closer, and presses a soft kiss to Luke’s lips, “I love you  _ so much _ .”

The words make his heart beat so hard against his chest, even though he’s heard them a million times – but,  honestly he never tires of hearing it, especially with the look that lingers in Reggie’s eyes as he says it. The way he says it so freely, the way Reggie no longer fears ending up like his parents – it makes Luke feel like he’s on Cloud 9 all the time, “I love you too,” Luke replies, and curls himself into Reggie’s side as they let sleep over take them.

**_And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them_**   
**_Like every single wish we ever made_**

They had just finished their practice for their next  gig ten minutes ago, Bobby left for his date, and Alex had to go home because it was his sister’s birthday and that wasn’t something he wanted to miss out on. Luke didn’t really have anywhere to go, not when his mother and him had a fight about his music again, so he was sitting in the studio, writing out his feelings. Reggie had followed Julie into the house, Julie was the owner of the house and studio’s daughter. She did music like them, and would often sit in on their practices if she was home. Luke was strumming on his guitar, trying to find the chords he wanted when he heard footsteps coming into the studio, looking up he sees Reggie there.

Smiling Luke puts aside his guitar, and that is when he notices the way his boyfriend was holding himself. He was making himself look smaller than he is with his head down, and Luke hated that because it meant he was scared. So, he goes to take a step forward and frowns when Reggie takes a step back, lifting his head and Luke’s heart shatters at the sight. 

Tears were falling down Reggie’s face, the eyeliner that Julie had put on him running down his face as the tears slid down. “Reggie? Baby, what’s going on?”

“We... I... We can’t be...” Reggie stumbles over his words, and Luke feels like someone is stabbing his heart because he thinks he knows what Reggie is trying to say.

Shaking his head, Luke moves to stand right in front of Reggie, grabbing hold of Reggie’s face in his hands, “Reg?” He can feel tears forming in his eyes as he searches his boyfriend’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, we can’t do this anymore,” Reggie’s voice has gone quiet, and Luke just shakes his head.

“Why?” Luke asks as he feels his own tears falling down his cheeks.

“I don’t love you anymore,” The words make him feel numb, and he hears himself gasp a little at the admission. His heart was falling to pieces inside of his chest, and he feels Reggie’s face leave his hands as the bassist takes a step back, “I-I’m sorry Luke.”

Then that was it, that was the last time he saw Reggie because he didn’t show up for the gig, and wouldn’t answer his calls. No, Reggie didn’t answer any of his calls until three months later, when he was no longer in LA and was dating someone else.

**_If today I woke up with you right beside me_**   
**_Like all of this was just some twisted dream_**   
**_I'd hold you closer than I ever did before_**   
**_And you'd never slip away_**   
**_And you'd never hear me say_**

  
From time to time, Reggie would send them all pictures and sometimes, Luke would write up all words and feelings, but wouldn’t hit send. Sometimes though, Luke would feel brave enough to send them – nothing to revealing, and just wishing that Reggie was happy, even if some of the messages he got didn’t sound like Reggie was happy with his girlfriend.

But, slowly over time both of them stop sending messages and pictures to each other. It just hurt too much for Luke to continue it, and it seemed that when he stopped, so did Reggie. Though, Reggie still kept in contact with the others – and it hurts Luke deep down, but he can’t admit it out loud.

He does his best to pretend he’s fine, even though he isn’t.

**_'Cause_** ** _I'm not fine at all_**   
**_No, I'm really not fine at all_**

His eyes find  _ him _ in the crowd as the last verse is being sung, he can feel tears briming his eyes as he continues on with the song. Luke does find himself unable to take his eyes away from Reggie in the crowd, so he was  _ directly _ singing at him now – letting his words and feelings flow through him as he sings. The words he’s been wanting to tell Reggie for the past few years, but never building the courage to do so because his pride always stood in the way. As the song finishes, he gives a small bow before taking off the guitar and letting Julie take back her role as their lead singer by her leading them into their last song of the night.

  
**_Tell me this is just a dream_**   
**_'Cause_** ** _I'm really not fine at all_**

After packing up their things and talking with a few fans, Luke went to the bar because  _ maybe _ he was hoping that Reggie would seek him out, and just maybe he wanted to make it easier for Reggie to do so. The next act playing was a singing duo, their music was soft and Luke kind of liked it. Ordering a drink, he takes a seat at the bar, giving a light smile to the bartender – Kayla, she always liked booking  _ Julie and the Phantoms _ here, because the crowd loved them too. That always made Luke happy, knowing he was connecting to all these people through his music.

He takes a few sips, and then he sees in the corner of his eye someone taking the seat next to him. “Hey,” A voice he hasn’t heard in a long time says softly, it almost sounded shy.

“Hey,” His reply was short as he turned to see Reggie there, his fingers playing with the ring on his finger. It was a new ring, one that made his heart  _ crumble _ in his chest.

“Can we talk? I owe you a few things,” Reggie asks, and Luke just wanting to be near Reggie again, for any reason at all, nods his head. “Privately?”

Downing his drink, Luke nods again and then beckons for Reggie to follow him. Luke leads them to the park in which the pair had meet those years ago. Taking a seat on a bench, and waits for Reggie to do the same. It’s not _ private _ perse, but it was late enough at night that no one really should be coming by. It went quiet between them, and Luke hates how it isn’t how it use to be. Before this all happened, they could spend _ hours _ not talking it  it wouldn’t feel this  awkward or strained.

“I never meant to hurt you,  _ ever _ ,” Reggie says, and Luke sees him playing with his ring again. It’s the one thing that’s honestly stopping him from pulling Reggie into a kiss he so desperately wants. “It’s just... I had no choice. My parents, they... they figured us out, and... they... I never stopped loving you.”

Luke let out a scoff, rolling his eyes lightly, “I don’t believe that,” He replies, nodding towards the ring that Reggie was twisting around his finger. “You seemed to have moved on very quickly.  _ You _ broke up with me, and I loved you.”

“ _ Loved?” _ Reggie’s voice cracked, and he can feel tears forming in his eyes as he sees the hurt look that spread across the man’s features. Reggie’s fingers stalled in their movement as his eyes traced over Luke. “P-Past tense?”

A wet chuckle fell past Luke’s lips, “No...  you dumbass I still  _ fucking love you _ , even after all these years, but I can’t keep doing it. If I  _ say _ loved, one day it’ll be true because you’ve moved on, and you seem happy. I should have moved on long ago, but... I do just wish I could just wake up with amnesia, because it’s really hard living without you in my life because I’m  _ not _ fine.”

Tears were freely falling from his lips as he spoke, his vision blurs as he looks at Reggie who seems to have his own set of tears in his eyes. “Luke...” His name soft, and delicate as if Reggie was approaching a scared puppy.

One of Reggie’s hand goes to wipe at the tears that were falling down his cheeks, and Luke _ hates _ how he just leaned into the touch. He shouldn’t do that, he should pull away because this was  _ way _ to intimate for them, for what they are. Reggie moves himself closer to Luke, and the next thing he knew – lips were pressing together and he was kissing back. Tasting tears and the old familiar taste of Reggie, makes him want to not let this go but the  _ cold _ metal of Reggie’s ring starts to feel as if it’s burning his skin which causes him to pull away.

“Reg... you’re  _ married _ .” Luke whispers, creating a distance between them as he turns his eyes towards the playground. “You  _ can’t _ kiss me.”

“But I want too.  _ You’re _ who I want to be kissing, you are who I want to be married too. Not Carrie. She doesn’t want to be married to me  _ either _ Luke, we had too,” Reggie’s voice is desperate as he lets the words fall from his lips. 

“Had too?”

“Carrie... she’s... she doesn’t like men. We decided to move here, because she said her cousin lives here, and then we’re filling for divorce. Her parents and mine, they made a deal with each other. We’ve only just recently got enough money to move here, to restart,” Reggie explains, eyes casting down to the ground as he twists the ring on his finger. “I still love you, Luke. It’s why I went to your gig; Bobby had said you had one tonight when he knew I was in town. Carrie didn’t come, she wanted to unwind because we arrived this afternoon.”

“Does she know?”

Reggie nods his head, “Yeah.”

“Do you need a place to stay?” Luke asks.

“I was going to stay with Carrie and her cousin, until I found my own place.”

“Stay with me... I have a spare bedroom in my apartment ever since Alex moved out,” Luke offers, turning to look at Reggie with a soft smile.

Getting inside of Luke’s apartment was easy, making it to Luke’s bedroom on the other hand – a whole another story as Reggie jumped slightly, wrapping his legs around Luke’s waist as they walked, lips connected in a frenzy. Making up for lost years, pouring all their feelings into the heated kisses and touches as Luke ends up dropping Reggie on his bed. They both let out a small laugh before letting their lips connect again, hands roam bodies they haven’t touched in years. Familiar yet new territory, finding new things to explore and new noises that were music to their ears.

Waking up with his legs entangled with Reggie’s, Luke starts to feel all those old feelings bubbling to the surface and he presses a soft kiss to the top of Reggie’s head. Smiling a little as he snuggled in closer to him, he could get use to this again. There were things that they probably still needed to talk about, and not just with each other, but their friends because Luke doesn’t want to be a called a  _ homewrecker _ , when that isn’t the case here. So, for now he just runs his fingers through Reggie’s hair and lets himself fall back asleep, only waking up when Alex calls him worried because he hasn’t answered anyone’s texts.


End file.
